Blissful Destruction

Blissful Destruction

Holding My Breath

My name is Natalie, I'm seventeen (senior in HS even though I attend community college through running start), and hopefully that is not enough for those closest to me to realize that this is me and not some random girl. However, I'm willing to risk sharing the gruesome details of my drug use and my attempts to escape in order to free myself and hopefully save others from this destruction. I began using alcohol, weed, nicotine, coke, and ecstasy at age twelve. This progressed to trying almost every drug except crack, meth, and heroin.Upon discovering Oxy cotton my life took a turn for the worst. This progressed to me needing something stronger resulting in my year long heroin addiction. During this year I tried crack and meth also making it so I have sadly tried about everything. I do not want to live like this, and this blog will be forcing me to face the horrible things I have done and witnessed. I believe writing will set me free.

One Moment can Change a Million After it

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Yesterday, I used. However, today is going to be the start of the rest of my life. I need to get clean, there is no other choice. Heroin has withered away everything that was once me and I hope I can find myself again. The depression is overwhelming, and I know quitting will contribute to lessening that. I am almost positive I am bipolar. I am planning to see a psychiatrist; yet, the fear of my own diagnosis being proven true is paralyzing. I can no longer run from my problems, I must face them head on or else I will never go anywhere, except an early grave. Actually, I should make the appointment now. I will, today is a new day. I'll just take it one step at a time, and I'll persevere until my life get's better. One day equals a million possibilities.
at 4:24 PM

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