Blissful Destruction

Blissful Destruction

Holding My Breath

My name is Natalie, I'm seventeen (senior in HS even though I attend community college through running start), and hopefully that is not enough for those closest to me to realize that this is me and not some random girl. However, I'm willing to risk sharing the gruesome details of my drug use and my attempts to escape in order to free myself and hopefully save others from this destruction. I began using alcohol, weed, nicotine, coke, and ecstasy at age twelve. This progressed to trying almost every drug except crack, meth, and heroin.Upon discovering Oxy cotton my life took a turn for the worst. This progressed to me needing something stronger resulting in my year long heroin addiction. During this year I tried crack and meth also making it so I have sadly tried about everything. I do not want to live like this, and this blog will be forcing me to face the horrible things I have done and witnessed. I believe writing will set me free.

Done

Thursday, December 23, 2010

I'm getting so tired of getting up in the morning. Right off when I woke up we went and picked up some friends and went to get stuff. Why can't I just stop? I would rather die than keep doing this shit because this isn't living it's existing. I think I should leave him, leave here, and figure out my life with a new start in a different state. However, I doubt I'll get the guts. I'm so stuck right now that it seems so much easier to just give up. We'll see.
at 6:36 PM

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