Hope

Hope is an iffy thing. It seems like every breath I take the world takes it back. Sometimes, hope rears it's ugly head and then I ultimately get crushed, destroyed, and wonder if I can even keep trying. It holds hands with trust. A long time ago I realized that the only reason trust is a word is because it describes something nonexistent. Trusting people means they can hurt you so I simply stopped. I can't trust a single person in my family and life was easier not trusting anyone. Then, I met him. My current boyfriend of a year and some months I decided to trust. Why? No clue. I can't seem to stop putting my faith in him no matter how many countless times he's shown I shouldn't. It's not him I can't trust, it's the addict. We must get clean or else we will never work together. I love him more than I love quasidillas from Jalisco's (my favorite Mexican restaurant) and that's saying something haha. I also found out I'm probably getting fired which I'm not trying to think of because I want to be optimistic. And I am being optimistic because I'm finally going to be able to drive legally for the first time--which I'll catch you up on later. My car's ready to be picked up from the shop! Furthermore, all my Christmas shopping is done, and I'm wearing a very cute dress so I'm happy! I have some hope. I hope I don't get let down.